I’m Outsourcing Myself for Mother’s Day

You read it. I’m outsourcing myself this Mother’s Day. There’s nothing I want more than to be able to abandon my duties. All of them. Go back to the days when me and my ride-or-die would cruise the country roads with our sunglasses on and the music up. We didn’t have a care in the world. Not a one. Unfortunately we both have a boat load of responsibilities now and she’s about 500 miles away. We don’t regret our ‘responsibilities’ but there’s something about daydreaming into the past when we were invincible.  Especially on days we feel completely defeated. And let’s face it, being a mom has too many moments of feeling defeated.

With Mother’s Day approaching I can’t help but reflect on all that motherhood entails. Can I be honest? Just thinking about it made me tired. Isn’t it tiring, though? Being a mother isn’t just about cheerful afternoons playing with the children. It’s about the endless loads of laundry (and all the stains!), having to discipline when it pulls at your heartstrings, being incredibly aware of keeping your emotions in check no matter what kind of personal day you are having because they can see through it, searching your reserve tank for self-control when they need to learn hard lessons or how to do something difficult on their own, it’s letting them spread their wings without you, and it’s letting them act a little immature for their age because you can’t help but want to keep them little as long as possible.

Motherhood is tiring. It’s no wonder there is a day set aside to celebrate all that we are. But what about celebrating all that we DO? The cooking, the cleaning, the managing, the shopping, the planning, the wound healing, the praying….you name it. We moms are aware of all we do….we do it! That’s what I want to outsource. Now if I can just find the money to pay for it. Ha! So, I can’t hire a nanny, a house cleaner (right now), a personal accountant, or a chef. But….I can try to make doing those things a little easier on myself. Especially this weekend.

Enter the crap menu.

I am a planner. I can’t help it. It makes my life less stressful and easier to manage our household. I meal plan, make lists, and stick to a budge (mostly). We usually have the same type of dishes on the menu but cooked a different way each week. For example, Taco Tuesday can be beef tacos, chicken tacos, enchiladas, tostadas, nachos, etc. But this coming week…I’m taking off. And I can’t wait.

I outsourced myself by using pre-packaged prepared options. And I feel zero guilt about it. It’s in style now to eat organic, GMO free, and fresh foods. No fillers, no cancer causing chemicals and no added hormones. It’s in style to do ‘homework’ on everything you do and buy. I’m guilty of that, too. But my homework led me to finding out that it takes 24-26 years for a lot of those chemicals to leave your body. The chances of anyone staying 100% ‘clean’ from them (for that long)  is so far unlikely that all the extra costs and work involved in that lifestyle becomes so wasteful. That’s just my opinion.

So my family eats hot dogs, bologna, and whatever cream of _____ soup my recipe calls for. And we couldn’t be happier. So this week as I planned my weekly menu I decided to give myself a break. A much needed Mother’s Day break. Taco Tuesday is replaced with Stouffer’s Enchiladas. Italian night is replaced with Stouffer’s Chicken Alfredo. Our oriental dish has been replaced with a bag of frozen Sweet N Sour Chicken and a box of frozen fried rice. There is a big box of frozen Mickey Mouse Waffles and a big bag of frozen biscuits in the freezer. Several individual packaged PB&J Uncrustables, Gogurt, mozzarella cheese sticks, and two gallons of sweet tea. I set my house up for an easy-peasy week full of what the rest of you call garbage. Again, I feel zero guilt about it. Now I can pop something into the oven and go push my kids on the swing for an hour. I can pop a few biscuits into the oven and sing along to whatever cartoon the kids have chosen.

Is it something I would do often? Probably not. I may not give into the peer pressure or bullying associated with my grocery cart contents, but I know we still need fresh options and meals. But this Mother’s Day I’m outsourcing myself. I’m actually looking forward to ‘motherhood’ this week. As it should be.

Happy Mother’s Day,

Your Mediocre Mom

Potty Training Confessions

If you have children you know the joys of potty training. I’m not going to lie, I dread it. Why can’t they just naturally start doing it without a fight? Yours didn’t put up a fight? Well….this may not be the blog for you. If your children are grown you may enjoy the jog down memory lane. And if your children aren’t yet at the potty training stage, well, you may not want to read this.

It’s no secret that there are TONS of ways to potty train. What works for you will not work for someone else. It’s just another one of those things about parenting that will drive you mad. There are enough articles, blogs, videos, and books about potty training to make an adult think they’ve been doing it wrong, themselves. So sit back and enjoy our failures on the many many things we’ve tried with our son.

  1. Let them wear underwear so they can feel when they wet themselves. 

The premise here is that a diaper or pull-up absorbs the wetness so if they are in a non-absorbent pair of undies it will feel differently when they pee on themselves. Makes total sense. And it’s true, by the way. But…..not every child cares that they’ve peed on themselves. Well, not enough for it to stop them from doing it.

I was lucky enough to have a best friend to pass on a whole grocery bag of little undies to potty train with. And obviously wear once the little man caught on. The first week I ever started potty training I used this method. I let him help me wash all the undies by loading the washer, putting the detergent in, and then loading the dryer once they were clean. We went through each pair and talked about the characters on them (which he loved). We talked about ‘going potty’ like a big boy and how proud we would all be for him to start doing it. He was excited and enthusiastic.  The first day I let him pick out his big boy undies and I started the day as usual. He was playing in the living room the first time it happened. He came running into the kitchen saying, “Oh no, mama, they wet!” So we got him cleaned up and talked about what it felt like and how next time we can run to the potty. He agreed and picked out a new pair of undies.

The next time he came running to me saying, “Mama go potty.” So we run to the bathroom, climb onto the stool he picked out and he peed in the potty. Success! We were both so excited! We celebrated with high fives and hugs and dancing and stickers and candy. He then kept coming to me to ‘potty’ but would not produce any pee. He had caught on that he gets rewarded for it. So I would still slightly reward his effort and tell him how proud I was to see him sitting there. We made sure to call the grandparents that night to tell them he peed on the potty like a big boy. He was so excited.

On day 2…….he couldn’t care less. He put his undies on but proceeded to pee in them and not come tell me. It just didn’t seem to bother him. I would find a puddle on the floor and have to go check him. I was asking him every 15-30 minutes if he needed to potty and he would say no. He didn’t care for the candy, the stickers, none of it. I even tried to get him to just come back there and sit with me so I could read to him. Once I told him I didn’t want to go potty by myself and asked if he would go with me. He would cry if I tried to get him to sit on the potty. I was told not to make the process misreable for him so I backed off.

On day 3….he wouldn’t even put on the undies. So I asked if he wanted to just go naked. He didn’t and wanted his pull-up. After trying to coax him in a different direction he began to cry. Again I backed off and let him wear his pull-up. I still asked him frequently about going to potty and he refused. Repeat this scenario on days 4, 5, and 6. After that I decided he wasn’t ready and decided to try again at a later date.

2. Boys need to go bare-bottom.

The premise here is that they don’t have any options but to go on the floor (all down their legs and feet) or go in a potty. Since there is no diaper, pull-up, or cotton undies there is no buffer for the liquid. Okay, that makes sense. So we tried this when I thought enough time had passed from the first attempt. He peed on the floor once and pooped on the floor twice. The first time he pooped he didn’t even care. He just kept on playing around the living room and every time he sat down to play with a different toy he left a doo-doo smudge on the carpet. I walked in and found crap spots everywhere and a turd on the rug. I wasn’t impressed with this method. He didn’t seem to care about being wet, standing in it, or leaving it there in the floor.

Even though it wasn’t successful the first time we tried it we recently tried this one, again. Still with no success, but I like the premise behind this one. It is currently warm enough outside to play without a jacket but just chilly enough for the wind to make you pee if you are naked. So we let him run around the yard and play with just a t-shirt and his rubber boots on. The rubber boots were his idea. Any way, he still would not pee. Not the entire time we were outside (over an hour). And we went outside several times for a while each time. He would kick his soccer ball, jump on the trampoline, and even help mommy water her rose bushes (with the dadgum freezing cold waterhose)……and still nothing.

3. Let them pee outside (with or without daddy), water the bushes/trees/flowers/etc.

I know a TON of people who did this with their boys. Most of my nephews learned this way. I can still remember seeing their little white booties as they leaned back to pee on Grandma’s pool plants. I like that this methods gets the dads involved. There’s nothing wrong with a little male bonding time that includes the fun act of showering things with their urine.  I’m lucky enough to have a husband that was (and still is) eager to do this.  The hubs even takes our son to potty with him indoors. We live way out in the country so it’s easy for them to strike their poses off one of the porches, together.

This method was a lot of fun for the little one. I can’t remember him ever actually peeing but he would partake in the ceremony of standing, holding, and leaning….and I would like to say pointing but all women know the irony behind that one. Even now the little one will not pee off the porch with daddy. We’ve tried to get him to ‘water the plants’ with his pee, to pee on mommy’s flowers, to pee on any of his sisters toys that happen to be outside. I’ve even offered to stick my foot out there and see if he can pee on mommy. He just won’t do it.

4. Make it special and offer rewards they like.

I get it. It needs to mean something for them to want to try it. We’ve been watching the videos and reading the books and making it daily conversation throughout each and every day. We have been taking him to look at the big boy potties for almost a year now. He gets to see when new ones come out, which ones sing songs or light up, and which ones have his favorite characters on them.  We would always ask him if he was ready to try it and he would always say no. The one time he really wanted to try it (the first time we actually tried potty training) he picked out his special seat and stool and we headed home to make a special ceremony out of ‘installing’ it for him. I let him do it and showed him how it worked. That was the night before he had his one and only successful day of peeing on the potty.

We picked all kinds of rewards so we could keep trying something different if one thing didn’t work. We used M&Ms, skittles, starbursts, hershey kisses, stickers, going to get a new Paw Patrol toy, etc. He was only impressed with the stickers on the first day. After that he wasn’t even interested in the candy. So strange.

5. Put something fun in the toilet that they can pee on.

The idea is that if they can see something floating in the water and you give them permission to pee on it, it turns into a game for them. If I were a grown man I would probably still do this one. It just seems fun. We tried cheerios, fruitloops, goldfish crackers (because they ‘swim’ if you pee on them), and a toy of his choice. He wasn’t interested in this method. Plain and simple.

6. Some boys train better standing up.

I’ve heard both sides of this. One side suggests that you should start off training boys sitting down to pee so that the transition to poo-poo training is easier for them. The other side suggests that you should start training boys to pee standing up since that is what they will see and do all the time as a boy/man/man-child. The truth is, the sensation to go #1 and #2 are completely different. But in boys, the sensation for #2 develops at a later time. That’s why training for both doesn’t usually work. It also explains why my son poops in the floor when he is bare bottom. They literally can’t feel it coming until its actually coming out. So potty training them to sit and pee isn’t any more helpful. But….I understand that some boys would rather stand than sit.

I bought this really cute toddler urinal that sticks to the bathroom wall. It looks like a frog and when they pee on its tongue the tongue spins around really fast. It helps teach them aim while having fun. I think it’s the funniest thing. My toddler, however, just likes to play with it. With his hands. It’s never been peed in. The one time he said he wanted to go potty in the frog he tried to sit down on it and it came off the wall.  To this day he still isn’t interested in it. It is cute though.

7. The potty-time watch.

This was a family recommendation. It’s a really cute concept. The parents choose a time frame to set a watch alarm to. The child wears the cool watch and when the alarm goes off it’s time to go potty. Or try. We chose 15 minute increments just so we could get in the habit of going to try. Every 15 minutes a cute song would play and we would all get up dancing and go into the bathroom. This technically worked for one day. He loved it. He would actually go sit on the potty and push….but nothing would come out. He got a small reward for trying and we went back to playing until it was time to try again. He lost his patience with it on day 2 so I had to adjust the alarm to every 30 minutes. He still wouldn’t go into the bathroom and wanted to take it off. He hasn’t worn it since. It is a really cute idea, though.

8. Nothing will work if they aren’t ready.

I wholeheartedly believe this. No matter what you try it’s not going to work if they aren’t ready. And something you’ve already tried will actually work when they are ready. You see, I’ve been worried that he hasn’t been ready for a very long time. Our pediatrician assured us that boys take a lot longer than girls and not to worry. He said but once he turns 3 and is just being stubborn….that’s a different story. It’s one thing to not be ready. It’s another thing to be ready but lazy. So I’ve read checklist after checklist of ‘potty training readiness’ and ‘how to know they are ready for the potty.’ Friends, I am here to tell you that he hits 100% of the readiness marks. Except that he just won’t do it. He’s hit the readiness marks for over 6 months now. So when he turned 3 and had already had a successful few moments of being able to do it without being an asshole…..I can figure he’s just being stubborn and/or lazy.

 

So friends….every time I try again and he has a zero success rate I consider dropping it for another month. I usually give it another few days before I decide. But as you can see, I’ve dropped it and tried again several times. This last time he did something different. He cried because he was ‘scared to potty.’ He’s never been scared before so I’m not sure if this is an excuse or if he’s genuinely scared. I don’t know how to address that one. We’ve seen videos and read books that deal with it being scary and it doesn’t seem to help. We’ve tried so many things that I know I’m leaving some out. Ho-hum. I guess I’ll drop it for a little while longer.

-Your Mediocre Mom

The Playground Police

Let’s face it…we all know her. Some of you may be her. She’s the playground police mom. She lingers around the playground loudly pronouncing that her kids follow societal rules so that the rest of the kids (and parents) see that there will be no light-hearted fun this go-round.

She is loud.

Sometimes she is loud with her proclamations of being a good mom because of how much more her kids clothes cost than hers. Sometimes she is loud about her plans for coffee later with that one friend she dreads meeting up with. Sometimes she is loud calling her kids out on something they have on as if they dressed themselves. Shut it, lady. We all know you let them leave the house like that because you’re tired of the fight like the rest of us and you just don’t give a crap. Don’t act like you care now that you’re in public. Most of all she is loud about her kids following rules that she only sees other kids ‘breaking.’

Relax, lady.

You see the playground equipment just like the rest of us. See how the steps and slide are wide enough for four kids to fit down at the same time? Yeah, that means they don’t have to wait in a single file line and take turns to go down it. It also means that if someone’s kid is, you know, being normal and trying to climb UP the slide that the other kids can just slide around them.  It also means that if someone’s kid wants to climb the stairs and stay there a few minutes that the whole playground doesn’t have to stop and wait in them.

Take a Xanax.

Or if you must look cool with a cup of coffee switch to decaf. There is no need to keep gasping and seeking for other parents’ reactions every time you see a kid jump from a piece of equipment. They are kids and fear is learned. Know what else is learned? Courage, determination, persistence, and bravery. So stop teaching them to be cautious over jumping 3 feet off the top of a damn toddler toy. Seriously.

Sit down already.

You are making the rest of us nauseous. Your four year old doesn’t need your help climbing into the pretend canoe. If they do, it’s because you keep helping them. They are capable. Instill some confidence in them by encouraging them to do it by themselves. Watch what happens when they succeed. Because they will. Besides, the rest of us can’t keep an eye on our kids from the sidelines with a 160 pound person always in the way.

Your passive-aggressive is showing.

Really. Can it. We all know what you really mean when you sarcastically say,

“You really have to keep your eyes on this one, don’t you?”

“Watch out sweetie, there is someone going the wrong way right now…wait until they get down.”

“Well her mother is somewhere in here…”

“Don’t worry if they are doing it wrong, you do it the right way and set a good example.”

“No, his mommy lets him do that but we do what that sign says.”

“You really have your hands full.”

“You must be from out of town?”

“Wow, they are big to be under 5.”

You’re loud, remember? Put your whistle away. We are all watching.

Let them be kids.

As long as no-one is getting hurt, on purpose, there is no need to intervene. Let them be kids! They can work things out on their own. Believe me…they will learn how to react to their peers if you just back off and let them try. Is there a rowdy boy shoving his way up the steps to the slide? Let your little girl react on her own if she gets shoved aside. Chances are she doesn’t give a crap and she’ll slide down anyway. Is another kid crawling too quickly through the tunnel and making others fall? Let the kids handle it. I’m willing to bet that one kid just wants to see how fast he can get through (because it’s fun) and honestly doesn’t mean to hurt anyone. Heck, unless another kid does the same thing to him he doesn’t know it may hurt at all.

There was a moment on a playground where my husband and I witnessed a kid push down our little boy. My husband’s reaction was, “what should we do?” And I said, “just give him a minute, see how he responds.” You know what? My little boy pushed that other kid right back. Regardless if you agree it was the right thing to do, his daddy and I were both proud of him. We want to know that he’ll stick up for himself if we aren’t there.  I’ve also seen my little boy be the one to hit first…and I totally intervened and he got into trouble. Letting them work things out on there own is a huge milestone for them.

You know that coffee you seem to be holding? Sit down and drink it. Here, I have whiskey in my purse, you want some? No idiot, I really don’t have whiskey in my purse. Maybe. But seriously….sit down and shut up! And lower your voice for Pete’s sake.

~Your Mediocre Mom

The ‘Logan’ Opinion

Hi, I am a former Logan. Technically I’ll always be a Logan, but my husband didn’t marry into my family, I married out of it. Goodbye Logan Luck!

Logan’s are known for a few things….we laugh loudly (and often), we say it like it is, we have a stroke of what’s called ‘Logan Luck,’ and we state our opinions. Whether you want to hear them or not. Most of the females come across as bossy, rude, and/or controlling. When you are raised in a blue-collar family that doesn’t beat around the bush you learn to jump in and take charge and to do it matter-of-factly. Hence the bossy, rude, and controlling features. Notice that I said “most” of the females. There is one of us that is humble, polite and a little on the shy side. The rest of us wish with all our might that we could be her. For real. We tip our loud bossy hats to you, Amos!

The reason I’m telling you this is because I was visited by my late grandmother in a dream a few nights ago. I’m not one of those weirdos (sorry weirdos) that thinks all dreams need an interpretation and our minds are controlled by the stars. But I can tell when something has purpose behind it. I’ll give you a few examples.

My Bon-Bon was the first grandparent I lost. She was my Dad’s mom (a Logan). She left her wedding ring set to me. It’s beautiful. I’ve actually been wearing it lately while my own wedding band is having a diamond replaced. Anyway, right after she passed, my Aunt asked if she could hang onto the ring set for just a little while. Well of course I didn’t mind! It was her mother’s wedding set for Pete’s sake. She could have hung onto it as long as she wanted. Soon after that I had a dream and my Bon-Bon came to visit me. She looked younger. She was still wearing her glasses. She didn’t say anything to me about the rings but she grabbed my wedding ring finger in her hands and rubbed where her ring should have been. I can literally still feel her bony finger rubbing over mine. She had a really confused look on her face as if she knew I didn’t have it. I called to tell my dad about the dream. Soon after that I ended up with the set.

Next I lost my Nanny, my mother’s mom. She died a little over a week before my wedding. I was really close to her. I struggled (and still do) with how my grandpa treated her for years. I kept asking her if I should forgive him….she kept responding with, “He has his own battles.”

Four days ago my husband cut a hole in our living room wall. We want to put a pass-thru there to open up that part of the house. The living room is an addition the former owners built and it’s closed off from the rest of the house. The next night, my Bon-Bon came to me in a dream with an arm full of pattern and color recommendations for our renovation. No kidding.

Dadgum bossy mouthy Logans!

I woke up thinking, “she came all this way to visit me and did nothing but tell me how to coordinate color schemes.” I had a really good laugh about it all. She opened one of those huge wallpaper sample books you see at paint stores and went on to show me that if I had light colored walls and floors that I needed darker colored furniture….and vice versa. She kept pointing me toward some ugly dark green colored furniture. I was being as polite as I could out of respect that it was my Grandmother. But gosh that wallpaper was ugly! And wallpaper?!?! Really? It’s hilarious now that I think back at all she was showing me.

I mean, she couldn’t say, “Good job with the kids,” or, “you spank them too much,” or, “your blog is embarrassing me,” or, “you could lose about 10 more pounds.” Come on! Wallpaper?!

Well, folks…..I have good news and bad news…..apparently, some of our characteristics stick with us once we hit those pearly gates. Bossy, opinionated and everything else.

I love you Bon Bon, but I’m not putting up hunter green with magnolia leaves wallpaper.

Love in the After Life,

Your Mediocre Mom

Slow Drivers are so Thoughtful

Know who is thoughtful? Slow drivers. The ones on a two lane road that drive exactly the speed limit or maybe 5 miles under. Below are 5 reasons why slow drivers are thoughtful drivers.

  1. Community Policing – Ah, yes. There aren’t enough actual police officers to handle every infraction. Luckily for us there are a certain group of drivers that see you are approaching the rear of their vehicle faster than they are currently driving. And thanks to them they keep us in line. Thanks to them they keep everyone behind them (because they can) from driving faster than the speed limit. It’s so thoughtful of them for making our communities safer places to live. It’s so thoughtful of them for gently reminding us to remain law abiding citizens of our community. Thank you, slow drivers for your thoughtfulness.
  2. Smell the Roses – Yes, slow drivers allow us the time to smell the roses in life. Since they are taking their sweet ass time as if we all are able to do, we can all be reminded to enjoy the rest of our day and carpe diem!
  3. Prayers – Slow drivers also make us send up those prayers! Lord please don’t allow me to purposefully ram this jerk; Lord please push the gas pedal on the car in front of me and take their wheel; Lord please send me patience, lots of patience; Lord please let this slow driver pull off the road so the 15 cars behind them can return to a normal pace; Lord please let this person in front of me get over themselves and realize they can’t make decisions for the rest of us. You see? Slow drivers allow us to get in more prayer time. So thoughtful.
  4. Lessons – Slow drivers also allow us to teach the children in the car how to react to such a thoughtful person. Instead of responding with the internal rage burning at the tip of our tongues, slow drivers allow us to openly come up with reasons to explain how thoughtful they are. How thoughtful to remind us that the children are listening.
  5. Traffic Control – It is so thoughtful of slow drivers on the interstate to realize that if we all paced ourselves out accordingly we would be safer….and to do that they must drive at exactly the same speed as the slow driver that’s actually driving in the slow lane. By blocking the passing lane they control the amount of future traffic congestion. And for that we can all be thankful. So thoughtful of them.

God love the slow driver,

Your Mediocre Mom

Fighting Fear with Faith

I’ll start by telling you that this is the title of an entire series we are covering at church, along with the bullet points mentioned in one or more sermons. So the ideas aren’t completely my own. These ideas did inspire me to share some thoughts with you. Even if you come across one or two ideas that you don’t necessarily agree with I encourage you to read all the way through.

Fighting Fear with Faith

I haven’t been able to wrap my head around President Trump signing an order to deny entry into America for certain folks. I mean, I can see both sides and out of shock that it was actually happening I felt numb to it. I’m already prepared for the excuses others will tell me why I felt that way. The important thing is I came to. The first feeling I felt was anger….but not for what you think. I don’t remember what news station I was watching when I heard it, but the anchor was hounding on the issues of being ‘detained.’ I’m only going to say this once….

…being detained only means people are being pulled aside so their paperwork and identification can be double checked.

Yes, it’s a different story if they aren’t following protocol with phone calls, rights, etc. But the whole concept of being detained isn’t a negative thing. It made me angry that the media was hounding on that issue like it meant they were being waterboarded. I had to turn the news off.

That prompted me to reflect on how I really felt about it.

I went to bed that night still unsure. I just couldn’t believe he actually did it. But something changed this past Sunday morning. I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with the clarity I had about the whole  issue.

Psalms 34:17 “The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their trouble.”

And then it hit me…..what better place in the ENTIRE world for non-believers to hear the gospel than in America? Let’s say those being detained and/or denied entry are believers. Then the Lord will hear their calls for help and rescue them according to HIS will. Now let’s say those being detained and/or denied entry are non-believers…they have a much better chance at seeing His light in our country than any other. Am I wrong about that? Even if you are a non-believer, isn’t that something you would agree with? Even if it meant one of them killing someone here to be subjected to a Christian…..isn’t that worth it? It may not be to us, but it is to God.

God uses people all the time to reveal himself to others.

That includes by death. I’ve seen more of the love of Christ in moments of death and suffering than in moments of joy.  He will ABSOLUTELY use those moments to make sure you know who to lean on; to make sure you know who to call out to; to make sure you know who is the only one that can help. And He does. He does help.

He will help them.

He will hear the cries of his children when they call out to him. He will also send his children to help those that are not yet his children, the lost. He will. He has. And He is. So what do we do other than sit back and watch Him work? Ha! We have that part wrong. See, it’s not our job to sit back and watch. We’ve all been called to fight.

We are called to fight fear with FAITH.

We are called to fight the things that cause us to stumble and not follow Christ with all that we have. If the news causes you to doubt and stumble away from Him…fight it. Fight to stay focused on Jesus. Fight to set your thoughts on truth. The truth you have been promised by Christ…not the ‘truth’ of the world. Fight to read God’s word regularly. Even if it means cutting off the television, putting down the phone, or asking your spouse to watch the kids alone for 15 minutes.

Fight to praise Jesus despite the circumstances you are in.

Ouch. Even if you are detained. Even if you are suffering in pain. Even if you are cold and hungry. Even if you are warm, dry and fed. It’s easy to praise Him when things are comfortable. But we are called to fight to praise Him DESPITE our circumstances. We are called to fight to stay close to Jesus. Stay close to Him. We are human- we wander. It’s in our very nature. We were created to be that way so that we would have to constantly choose to follow and stay close to Christ. It must be a choice. (That’s free-will.) This is going to sound stupid, but when I listen to radio stations other than Christian radio (K-LOVE) I cuss more, I yell more, I lose my patience more. I’m just generally disconnected from God. Music is a HUGE part of my worship time with Him. It literally calms my soul. I literally cannot live without it.

When I start to drift from Him, simply changing my radio station sucks me right back down into His lap. Every. Single. Time.

Lastly, don’t forsake His assembly – we are called to fight to stay close to His body, the church. I know….this is where you tell me that His body isn’t in a church building and that church is anywhere people are gathered to worship Him. Yes, but you know what I’m talking about. We are called NOT TO FORSAKE HIS ASSEMBLY.

Get your butt to church. End of argument.

So after all these thoughts came flooding to me this past Sunday I felt more confident in my feelings about the current predicament. I am confident that He is working it out for His good. And that it will all come to fruition if His children will recognize this and step up. Do I think the nationalities on the list are terrorist? I have no idea. I have heard the statistics, but I also don’t know if any of my neighbors build bombs in their spare time, either. Do I think any and everyone should be let into our country? I don’t know about that either. I can name a few Americans that probably shouldn’t be allowed to still live here. But I do know that no matter how dramatic the media tries to make me feel about it, they won’t. I do know that I will pray His children are perfectly placed to intervene where they are supposed to. I do know that I trust Him more than I will ever trust a politician or law or report. I do know that His plans for us all are far better than we have planned for ourselves. I do know that He will use some of our suffering to bring Glory to himself….and I’m okay with that because I’ve been called to be.

I hope you are praying for our country. I also hope you are praying for our President. (Despite our circumstances, we must praise Him.) If you haven’t been called or placed into a physical position to witness to any of the people involved…you have been called and physically placed to pray for them. Be sure to fight for time to do that.

Praying for us all,

Your Mediocre Mom

Eat More Leftovers!

Let’s face it. You meal plan so you don’t waste food. You make a grocery list so you don’t overspend, as much. You meal prep and pre-package school lunches and after school snacks so the whole house doesn’t get eaten within 36 hours of purchase.

Give yourself a break!

Eat more leftovers! I actually put ‘Leftovers’ on my meal plan for the week. If I haven’t been feeling well lately I may put it on the list every three days. There is nothing wrong with expecting your family to reheat yesterdays dinner. Sometimes you can reconfigure it into a different type of meal but sometimes you can’t. Trust me, they can suck it up and it will save you all the stress of ‘witching hour.’ Take it a step further and serve it on paper plates. That way you’ve saved yourself from having to cook dinner that night and do the dishes. Voila!

Another thing I do to make sure suppers don’t go to waste is pre-package them for future use. My family is more likely to eat the leftovers (or take them to work for lunch) if I go ahead and cut portions to place into plastic containers. That way they are easy to grab and pop into the microwave. Sometimes I don’t even tell the hubs that leftovers are in the fridge. I just mix the containers in with his prepackaged lunch items and he automatically just grabs whatever. Let’s face it, most men don’t look anyway. Toddlers, on the other hand, are tiny health inspectors. They should be paid by the Food and Drug Administration. Nothing slips by a toddler. Nothing. If yours is anything like mine, he’s so paranoid he literally smells everything single thing before it goes into his mouth. Drinks are no exception.

So give yourself a break Mama. It’s Monday. Let them eat leftovers.

Saving you the dishes,

Your Mediocre Mom

Verse of the Week: Isaiah 40:11

Mommin’ ain’t easy – and we need all the encouragement we can get. Sometimes the encouragement only comes from above. And we should be okay and expectant in that because He is all-sufficient for us. Focus on this verse this week as we tend to our ‘flocks.’

“He tends his flock like a shepard: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; He gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40″11 NIV

Amen. …”He gently leads those that have young.” Please and thank you, Jesus.

 

In His Name,

Your Mediocre Mom

 

Overrated: Walks on the Beach

I know, I know….how could anyone think taking a long walk on the beach is overrated? It’s what people say they love to do on dating games and websites. It’s what people day dream about when they think of romantic time spent with a loved one.

Not me!

Talking a walk on the beach sucks. I have what I call, ‘left-over dancer legs.’ That means they were once completely solid muscle and my best asset. Now they cramp at night if my day includes climbing too many stairs- which isn’t many. Result? My thighs rub together. They really always have, whether they were muscle or not. But now they cause me to wear Spanx anytime I wear a dress or skirt.

Walking on the beach is probably the most uncomfortable thing for me to do.

I’m in a bathing suit…AKA acceptable underwear to wear in public. My thighs are rubbing together so much I can smell bacon. And sand is EVERYWHERE. That last part is important. The more I walk, the more that sand rubs against parts of my body that should not need exfoliating. Just saying. And people think this is a romantic activity? Pa-leeze!

It’s misreable!

Know what I prefer to do? Beach my fat ass in the sand with a cold drink and wander into the water to cool off as soon as no male figure between the ages of 18-30 is nearby. That last part is about my lack of self-confidence, not an overestimation of how good I look.

And there you have it. Walks on the beach are completely overrated. Skip it. Take a walk on the boardwalk after you’ve showered.

You’re welcome,

Your Mediocre Mom

The Cock-Block Toddler

Hi there. If you’ve kept up with my blog you are already aware that I am a mom of two toddlers. They rock. Sometimes. Other times they down right suck. But in this post I will share with you 5 ways they are so very thoughtful.

  1. Sexy Time – Nothing says, “You’re welcome mom,” quite like ALWAYS ruining a little romantic time with the hubs. The little one is going through a bit of a sleep regression…thoughtful, I know. And the older one has a habit of wanting to sleep in ‘momma bed.’ No matter how many times I take him back to his room, he always ends up back in our bed. And when he’s not, his sister decides it’s time to party all night. I love how they rescue me from the same old excuses. He may actually believe me if I say I have a headache. Wink wink. So thoughtful.
  2. Answered Prayers – For years I have prayed for patience.  Since having children I have learned that they hear my prayers and have decided to help me with them. You see, they thoughtfully create situations that would allow me to practice my patience. Lots and lots and lots of situations. As a matter of fact, I should be the most patient person that exists. So thoughtful of them.
  3. Tidiness – This is one of my favorites. The kids ever so thoughtfully throw their toys about the house to give me more practice in tidying. They are really good too. Like, when I pick up an entire set of Lincoln Logs and put them away….I find one piece at a time in several areas of the house- the dirty laundry, the toilet, the kitchen floor, on the train table…anywhere but in the box where it belongs. So sweet that they were thinking of me. They see me constantly tidying and thought I would like a few more to do. I enjoy it so much. So thoughtful!
  4. Uneaten Meals – I regularly let them both sit on the kitchen counter as I am preparing and cooking meals. If it’s a step they can handle I let them help. Add ingredients, stir, pour, etc. They enjoy watching and participating. I also heard that getting them involved makes them more likely to eat it or try new things. I call bullshit on that one, but they enjoy the process. They are so sweet to think of me when they leave an entire meal that they just asked me to fix sitting uneaten. They know how much I enjoy cooking, and just wanted to allow me the opportunity to get into the kitchen for a little ‘me’ time. So thoughtful!
  5. Reminders – I never would have thought my children would be so smart and thoughtful with this one. I mean, my husband hasn’t even figured this one out. When we are low on diapers and/or wipes and I need to remember to go buy some they have 9 poops between the two of them….in one day.  They normally poop once a day, each. And as soon as I buy them they return to normal.  But when mama needs to be reminded of that to-do list they are eager to jump in! So thoughtful!

Aren’t they awesome? I just love a considerate thoughtful child.  Tell me, how are your kids ‘thoughtful?’

Grateful,

Your Mediocre Mom

Where there's no guilt in cereal for supper.