Things I Didn’t Expect with My Second Child

Please note that these points reflect my personal life experiences and feelings. I do not expect others to agree with or relate to them.

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Things I Didn’t Expect with My Second Child…

  • That I would love and want to punch my husband in the face, simultaneously.
  • That I would need a 13 gallon trashcan in every room in the house.
  •  That I would put my inside-dog, of 14 years, outside. (reasonably, of course) Edit: She’s back in the house. I’m a softy on Mondays.
  •  That I would need 4 filing cabinets to organize all the clutter.
  • That I would never actually get to organize any of that clutter.
  • That I would buy all the necessary safety equipment and never get around to installing it. (anchors for dressers, etc.)
  • That I would activate the “5 second rule” in the nastiest of places.
  • That I would mourn all the personal time I used to spend with my first child.
  • That breastfeeding would actually work with this one.
  • That I would let my toddler play in public without matching socks. Or a matching outfit. Or combed hair. Crap.
  • That I would long to wear “regular clothes” and then hate them the whole time I wore them.
  • That I could judge what kind of day it was going to be based on: 1) what yoga pants I wore (aka were clean); 2) how well my toddler ate breakfast (if he ate at all); and 3) if my husband were going to come home for lunch.
  • If I need to leave the house at 9, I need to start leaving the house at 8 in order to be on time.
  • That I would so much look forward to the day I could drink a cold beer and then not be able to finish it because it wasn’t as good as I remembered.
  • Being happy that the drink wasn’t as good as I remembered!
  • That saying No to an authority figure would be much easier.
  • That I would never be able to clarify to people that want to help that I need help with the toddler, not the new baby.
  • That I could judge how long its been since I mopped my floors by how the house smells.
  • That I would give up a lot of battles that I used to think were worthy. (the short forks and the long forks no longer have separate slots in the silverware drawer.)
  • That my carpet would need to be shampooed every three months.
  • That I could wash every dirty item in the house and still have a laundry room full of dirty clothes the next day.
  • That I would give my husband “vacation days” to do what he pleases, only for him to come home complaining for three days, afterwards.
  • That every person in the house would get new clothes every 6 months and I wouldn’t get new clothes ever.
  • That answering a phone call depends on if we’re in the car with or without a screaming baby or if my toddler is in possession of it to watch Mickey Mouse.
  • That I would hum Elmo and Mickey Mouse in the only place I get to be alone – the shower.
  • That I would become the neighbor that hates the other neighbors for making enough noise to potentially wake the babies.
  • That I have zero patience for people that whine and don’t have any children. Because their drama filled life is sooooo hard. (insert rolling eyes)
  • That I would buy organic items at the grocery store and then stop by McDonald’s on the way home.
  • That I would care less what another mom thinks of me. Her struggle is hers and my struggle is mine. Period.
  • That I would LOVE being a stay-at-home mom. (I’ve had a job since I was 15. It was a HUGE adjustment for me.)
  • That the idea of taking a vacation and having to leave the kids makes it not worth taking the vacation. (I tried it once for 10 days. It was terrible.)
  • That I would compromise my beliefs about toddlers and technology to not have to watch the same cartoon 500 times in a row, myself.
  • That I would actually enjoy the tough moments of being a mother to two littles, because I know the time with their seasons is fleeting. ( I don’t mind having to get up at 3 a.m. to nurse the baby…she’s my last one.)
  • That I wouldn’t care about losing the baby weight.
  • That recovery from the second childbirth would be more difficult.
  • That having kids at Christmas is way more fun than being a kid at Christmas.
  • That the only day of the week I would have patience for anyone would be on Mondays. If you need to talk to me call on a Monday. Otherwise, wait until the next Monday.
  • That I would finally lose a lot of my politeness and start treating people how they treat me. Its kind of like being treated like step-family but being expected to act like real family. Nada. Not any more.
  • That my husband would tell me, in public, that my blog name was all wrong. He thinks I am no where near a mediocre mom. 🙂 I digress.

Love,

Your Mediocre Mom

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